"You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart."
- Jeremiah 29:13
seek: to go in search or quest of: to seek the truth.
I do not understand what it means to truly seek the Lord with all of my heart. I do not understand how He loves me when I am so unlovable. I do not understand why He gives me mercy and grace. I do not understand how He looks at me and always thinks that I am beautiful. I do not understand why He continues to show patience towards me day after day. I do not understand why He proves His kindness by forgiving me over and over when I make mistakes. I do not understand why He chose me. -- But He did.
He looked at me and said "I choose you."
and in return, He asked that I choose Him back.
That I would make Him mine. That He would be the One that I look to, that I turn to. That I love and allow to love me.
To seek Him. To find Him. To look for Him.
How do you love the Lord? Especially, how do you love the Lord well?
That is such a hard thing for me to try to wrap my mind around, sometimes. Sometimes it clicks and I know what I'm supposed to do and I know how I can try to love Him well. Other times, I am completely lost and don't know where to begin.
It is so hard for me to let Him love me. To just sit and let Him love me. To let Him tell me what He thinks about me. But that's what He loves doing. He loves to surprise me. He loves to tell me secrets. He loves to take my face in His hands and say, "Olivia, I LOVE YOU. I CHOSE YOU."
He delights in me.
He is worth it. He is worth the wait. He is worth it. Everything. He is worth it all.
He gave His all.
To seek Him. To draw after Him. To sneak off with Him. To be with Him.
Seeking the Lord.
With ALL of my heart.
It's hard.
But, I am learning.
If I seek Him with all of my heart, I will find Him.
