When I'm in the shower, nothing else seems real.
Sometimes I take a shower to think or feel better or cry or explode, but every time I take a shower to do those things, nothing seems real. I can't cry. I can't deeply think. I can't feel anything. Nothing is real.
But as soon as I get out of the shower, all my senses and emotions come rushing back to me, and I remember why I got in the shower in the first place.

Shameless:
lacking any sense of shame.

Audacity:
bold or daring, especially with confidence.

I want to know what I'm after, and go after it with shameless audacity.

www.oliviaadkins.tumblr.com

"You don't have to do a thing. Just simply be with Me, and let those things go cause they can wait another minute. Wait, this moment is too sweet, Would you please stay here with Me, and love on Me a little longer.."

The Lord just wants me. More of me. All of me. No matter what. No matter what I'm doing. No matter what else I have going on. Even if it is 'important'.
He wants me to surrender everything that I am. Everything that I have. Even if it means doing hard things. Even if it means sacrificing the kind of music I really like.
He just wants all of me.

παράκλητος .

paráklētos, "one who consoles, one who intercedes on our behalf, a comforter or an advocate."
[1]Paraclete signifies, "called to one's side".

*work in process.

Do what You will.

As I struggle to find out who I am, and who I will become, the Lord is always Faithful.
He knows what I need and He supplies all my needs. In times where I feel most distant from Him, that's when He's calling my name the most.
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
He's not trying to keep things from me about myself. He loves to tell me secrets. He loves to reveal Himself to me. I just have to be still and quiet and sit at His feet. Which, I'm not always good at.
I am unmeasurably blessed beyond my comprehension. He is so Good to me. He's just patiently waiting for me to call His name and cry out to Him. He's ready and willing.

I struggle so much with knowing who I am.
I've always compared myself to someone, for as long as I can remember. Not necessarily the same person, but always someone. I've never figured out who I was, or even really tried to until recently. I want my identity to be found in Christ, and Christ alone. I want to know what He thinks about me and who He says I am. Not who I think I am based on who someone else is. Me. Just me. I want to know who I am, and who I am in Him.
I know there are specific things inside of me that the Lord has placed there. and I'm on a journey to figure out what they are. I'm ready to believe in myself. It's time.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

"God said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Bad things happen to good people all the time. But just because bad things happen to good people, doesn't mean that God isn't Good. It just means that He knows more than we do. He knows whatsup and He's got it covered. We don't always understand why bad things happen to good people, and I don't think that we ever will. But that doesn't give us free access to question God's goodness. He is ALWYAS Good. Even when our circumstances aren't. He's got us covered. Even if the outcome isn't our favorite.

Now is the time to press in. To interceed more than ever before. We can't put it off any longer. We need to be willing and ready. Be preparing as we wait. We can't waste time. Press in.

With a blank canvas, there are so many possibilities.

This year.

Things that have held me back in the past, things that have distracted me, things I have compared myself to, things that have made me think twice before doing what I know I should do, things that have not been healthy for me will all physically not be with me this year. They are all going away about the same time. Things that have left scars and bruises will no longer be here.
I hear the Lord telling me that this is my year.
This is the year that things will change and forever be changed. I will know who I am in this new year, in this new season of my life, with no one telling me who I am but Him. I will seek and find. My eyes will be opened to secrets that my heart has been longing to see. I will know. I will experience and I will never go back.
He is telling me that this is a fresh start. A clean slate. A new beginning.
And it's looking good.

Waiting.

Waiting on the Lord and His timing.
That's a hard thing to do.

But His plans are the best and He knows what I need way more than I do.
Going through the process of waiting is not a easy thing for me to do. I can be impatient at times. But I just have to remember the Lord knows what's best. He has my best interest in mind. Nothing else. He loves me unconditionally.

Cynthia Louise Williford.

*yes. I did just do a post around a hour ago. But now, it is Cynthia's birthday.
This is something worth blogging about. And I have an urge to let it include a bunch of pictures with Cynthia's lovely face in them.



17 years ago, Cynthia Louise Williford was born. If I had been there, I would have been so excited. But I wasn't. But I am here now. And I am excited now.
I love Cynthia soooooooo much. So much more than I can say or put into words. She is so beautiful and she makes me laugh. Her laugh is contageous. Her eyes twinkle and she gets really excited about cute things. She is so dainty and her artwork is dainty as well. Her voice is so pure, and so is her heart. I can only look at her for so long because I might explode from how beautiful she is. She inspires me in everyway. When I grow up, I wanna be like her. She is so kind and loving. I see many of the Lord's qualities in her. I don't know what I would do without her. And I mean that with everything in me. She's my world. ;)
Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy birfffday, Cynthia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3.

Sincere heart.

Hebrews 10:22-23.
-"Let us draw near with a *true heart in full assurance of faith, with our heart sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

\\ SINCERE: free of deciet; earnest; genuine; pure.


The Lord is Faithful. His words are true. Everything He does is for our good. His word always comes to past.


I need to have a sincere heart in the waiting.

It came too soon.

To sleep. To hangout. To chill. Peace and quiet.

In the beginning..
All I wanted to do was get away.





I was humbled and set straight.






and in the end.
All I wanted to do was stay.

To my Daddy.

It's Fathers Day, so today, I recognize my Father, Jerry Christopher Adkins.
He is a very funny, handsome, cool, weird, outgoing, fun guy. I like him a lot.
He is my duet partner for most songs in the car. Especially 'A Whole New World' from Aladdin.
He means a lot to me and I am very thankful for him. He is a good daddy, and if he keeps his eyes on the Lord, he'll keep doing alright! ;)
There aren't enough words to decribe everyting I want to describe about him and enough ways to point out how much I love him, and everything I love about him.
I don't know what I would do without him.
I love you, Daddy! <3

disclaimer:

--This post is going to turn out differently than I thought it was going to.
But I felt it was necessary.

BOBBI. BESS.

Bobbi is leaving for Scotland tomorrow. She will be gone for 9 days and will return having had a makeover. She happens to be very nice to look at. and is my best friend. When she moves her feet as she dances, she moves the hearts of many. She has a very pretty heart and you know the Lord is always near when you're around her, even if you don't believe in Him. Which, will come in handy when she lives in China, don't you think?

TORI. TORIA.

Tori only has 8 Wednesdays left in youth before she leaves me. Yes. LEAVES me. and she WON'T be back in 9 days. She is very important to me. I think we are currently closer than we have ever been. She makes me laugh on a daily basis. She is amazing with little people and will one day live in Africa with them. Yes, this blue eyed, blonde haired, tan skined beauty will be living in AFRICA.


CYNTHIA.

Cynthia makes my heart so very happy everytime I see her. and I haven't seen her in quite some time. That just tells you about how my heart has been doing lately.... She is SO beautiful inside and out. Her inside shines on the outsie..in a good way. Her voice is so pure and strong. Her rythym comes from the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. She likes to give little details to everything, especially her creativity. Just like the Lord did when He gave her that unique quality. Her being screams purity and righteousness. and her face screams gorgeous.

JORDAN.

Jordan is a dear friend of mine. We have been best friends since we were 7. I like her a lot. I used to see her every day. I don't see her as much now, but that just makes the time we have together that much better. Even though, I wouldn't object to seeing her more again. She is and always will be one of my favorite people. She is easy to talk to and is very genuine. She won't let you down. She is so pure and patient. She has a wonderful sense of humor and the Lord delights in her and her faithfulness. She is very beautiful.

TYLER. TY ANN.

Tyler, what words can you say about Tyler?! Beautiful. Creative. Funny. Smart. Cute. Tiny. Lovable. Talented. Yes..there is in fact more. This girl, full of life and energy, can make a room light up just by speaking or laughing. She is the life of a party. She is becoming so much closer with the Lord. I have seen her change so much. and I am SO proud of her. She stands for justice.

KASEY.

Kasey is my sunshine on a cloudy day. She always picks me up and encourages me in the Lord. I am so thankful for her. I love her with all of me. We go way back, I love all of our memories. She harmonizes with the angles when she sings. She shakes the hearts of many when she speaks of the Lord's love. I enjoy every little bit of time I have with her. I never take it for granted. Her face also just happens to be as pretty as a flower.

<3 God is SO good to me.

It's here :)

Praise God!

It's Summer. <3

He's Faithful.

"...And like the sun, after all of the rain’s gone,

The morning with out any clouds comes,

With a picture of Your love.

And when I think of the stars so high over me,

The moon and the stars that let everyone see,

A picture of your love.

And after the rain has fallen, and after the clouds all roll away,

The sweetest name remains, on my soul.

‘Cause You’re faithful, always the same.

You’re faithful. You never change

You’re faithful. You’re always good. You’re always good..."

Music of the Night.

To start off... I wish I would have taken a picture with Cynthia Louise Williford. :(

I have a lot of hair on my head. May 14, 2010 reminded me of this.

For the Boy.

From the Boy.

Best.

"Joe".

The Boy/ "Date".

Banquet...

...is over.

Time to party.

Excitement.

Good night.